Duality Trap: Going It Alone

Mother's Day is a bittersweet holiday for single mothers. I should know. Whereas other mothers are being taken out to dinner or opening a gift, the single mothers of small children usually are left wondering why even on Mother's Day they are still going it alone. To top it off, some of us are reminded that not only is there no one there for us, but we must be there for our own mothers lest we be accused of forgetting Mother's Day!

Sometimes we are faced with situations that seem to constantly remind us that we are alone, facing the burden not only of survival for ourselves, but for our children or our elderly parents as well. Or maybe it is that we have never married and again feel like we will be going it alone for the rest of our lives. Or in some cases, maybe we are married, but our spouses are never around to help us with the day to day grind that can wear anyone down. We feel abandoned - alone.

Even in the genre of Oneness, the concept of "you create your own reality" is sometimes a lonely thought. If we create our own reality, then we are truly alone. There is no Other. For some people, that is enough for them to decide that Oneness is really not a fun idea! The idea that we can remain separate, unique souls within an interconnected web of other like souls, without expectations and control dramas, seems hard to conceive in terms of reality creation.

Do we or don't we create our own reality? If so, why don't we create more people to be with us or to help us? Why can't we force someone to like us or to do what we want them to do? If we create all of our reality, why can we not make specific people our lovers or lifelong partners?

It's here where the doctrine of "you create your own reality" seems to fall apart -- and yet it doesn't. We do indeed create our own individual realities, but others do so as well. By holding our own unique tones, we influence those around us into action -- or sometimes inaction. In turn, we can also allow our Selves to be influenced by the belief systems of other individual Creators.

We are like droplets of water floating across a windshield. Each of us an individual and unique source of life. As we race from one end of the windshield to another in our frantic fast-paces lives, we encounter other droplets with a mission of gravity that seems to be what we would like to create also. So, we join forces. The choice is always ours. What do we want to lend energy to and what do we not? Pretty soon, the droplets turn into trickles and the trickles turn into torrents across the windshield. This is the power of the individual to create his or her own reality. Should an individual decide not believe in the force of gravity or that droplet splashes onto a surface, that droplet of water can be reflected into another pool entirely! Then that droplet may never join the other droplets that continued to flood that particular windshield. Everything continues to exist in all of reality -- in All That Is. We just may not have chosen it to be a part of our personal experience.

So, if it appears we are alone, it is possible we are creating the situation for contemplation or personal growth. If we are unhappy with the situation, it also could be that we are aligning with a mass belief system that it is not "right" to be single, which is not an absolute truth. Until we identify our own personal belief systems that are generating our feelings of loneliness, we will continue in a state of being associated with separation. The emotion is merely the communication. The truth lies within our Self and is independent of what our marital state is, or whether we are surrounding by people or ultimately alone. Loneliness, or separation, is a state of being that can only be alleviated by cultivating its opposite: Love. When we learn to open ourSelves up we find others who are willing to share in the dance as well.